It’s been a little while since I have posted anything. Pregnancy so far is really gross when it’s not being really boring, so that kind of limits my material. Unless you’re all dying to hear about butt functions and swollen limbs and the reading I have done about eating the placenta. By all means, if you weirdos want all that, I’ll give it to you. Which brings me to the first part of today’s post, entitled, “I Am Doing All the Work Here, You Freeloaders.”
WordPress has these neat little tools that tell me about all of you. So not only do I know there are quite a few of you, more than I expected (and THANKS because the higher these numbers go, the prettier I feel!), where on the internet you found my blog, and that most of you are regular readers. I know that you guys come here on days when I have not even made a huge announcement to the whole internet that I did something. Which makes me feel like you are all waiting on bated breath to see if I will light up your lives with some really great words, and maybe some butt functions. Like I said, I don’t know if you guys wanna hear about butt functions because you don’t tell me.
So I’m calling you freeloaders out. Leave me some comments. Be an active participant in my blogging process, and I think it will make the experience better for all of us. I get to read things and think that people are so invested in my life that they have to talk to me about it. And you get to tell me what you like, what you don’t like, what you wanna read, how pretty you think I am, or that you want me to eat a burger because you’re worried about how skinny I am.
Okay, moving on from shameless begging and peer pressure to an actual post, entitled, “I Miss You So Much. I’m Sorry I Left. Don’t Forget Me. I’ll Be Back Soon. Beer.”
I miss beer so much. Not in a Lindsay Lohan with an ankle bracelet way. But in a true, vulnerable, heartfelt, long-lost best friend kind of way. So maybe a little bit like Lindsay. I don’t care.
I miss having a beer with Adam at the end of our day. I miss drinking a beer while I did housework and danced to Dream and the Bring It On soundtrack and B*witched. I miss forgetting to drink much water during the day, and turning to beer instead when I finally realized my insides were drying to dust because water is stupid if there’s a beer in your fridge already.
One time, I was visiting friends in Savannah, Georgia, and I had my first restaurant beer at a pizza place called Mellow Mushroom. It was an Amber Bock in a mug as big as my head. It was delicious and I looked awesome while I drank it. I tried to get Adam to let me register for beer mugs that big for our wedding. He rained all over my parade with his stupid practicality. Not bitter.
Since I can never find Amber Bock anywhere, which is complete bullcrap because it’s like the pretty prom queen of delicious brews, I need to send some love to Yuengling. My steadfast companion, my bff in a bottle. I just scoured my facebook page, my iPhoto, and my iPod for a picture with me and my buddy. It is amazing to me that I can’t find a single one. Especially because I practically lived off of that and Pizza Hut breadsticks the first few months I was married. Adam was in Utah for a buttload of awful time on business, stupid business, and I was in the semester from hell where I accidentally took three math classes in a five-class schedule. I cuddled my Yuengling every night. It listened to my fears and my frustrations, then calmed me enough out of hyperventilating and sobbing over my textbooks that I was able to fall asleep. I am forever grateful to my 12oz companion.
Before I even researched a crib, I researched if I could have a beer while I am breastfeeding. I have already requested a six-pack on ice in the delivery room. Cheers, fetus.
**Also, just a PS to bring everything full circle. WordPress tells me what kind of “search terms” bring people to my blog. One of the search terms today was “got so fat she couldn’t”. Thanks.**